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Back in June, I became (almost) a full citizen. The state of California granted me all of the rights and responsibilities where my relationship with my soul mate is concerned. My reaction surprised me. I didn’t realize how badly being legally less than weighed on me on a daily basis. And now there’s a chance – an unfortunately good chance – that my citizenship status will be forced back into what it was before. That those rights and responsibilities will be taken away from me and I will be back to the less than status.
Can you imagine being a slave who is freed, than six months later being relegated back to being a slave once more? Can you imagine being that free man and watching others around you spread lies about what your being free means to them? Can you imagine watching those people tell the world that your being free is harmful to children? That being free should only be reserved for a certain class of people and not given to all, not even hard working, tax paying citizens? It’s an extreme example, but sometimes extremes are better for proving a point.
Legitimizing gay marriage is not about recruiting children. It is not about forcing churches to teach a different doctrine.
It is about granting the same rights and responsibilities to all. It is about recognizing the lifelong attachment of couples. It is about automatically granting legal and medical protections to those partners. It is about legitimizing the adult relationships that already exist today. And it is about telling gays, children or adults, that they are equal citizens under the law and not some fringe group grasping at crumbs.
Voting day is Tuesday and this issue will be decided soon. I would say it’ll be over soon, but if Proposition 8 passes in California, there will be an aftermath that could drag on for quite some time. My marriage will be in legal limbo.
I urge everyone to get out and vote. It is one of the rights and responsibilities that we all share – no matter our race, sexual orientation, gender, age. It is one of the great things about living in this country. You have a voice – use it.
*The almost is because I can only live in a few states and still have the full citizenship I gained in June. But those others are cold states with, ya know, winters and snow. Please don’t make me move somewhere cold. My wife would freeze.
Blog The Vote!
17 comments:
Hi Sarah. I'm going to reproduce my comment on Erica's blog:
your issue is an idea whose time has come. In fact it's overdue. Like abolition and suffrage, gay rights will find root in American law and you and your wife will go down as pioneers.
I believe Obama and Biden adopted their anti-gay-marriage stance merely to pander to the center. On one hand it's an act of cowardice, on the other hand it's a ticket to the White House. I wish politics were less sensitive to particular issues. An Obama administration will surely bring us closer to equal rights for everyone. I can't imagine an African American considering any other agenda.
DH and I have voted, and we are solidly against #8. You and my other friends who are part of a gay marriage are warm, loving people, and it astounds me that so many people feel threatened by your relationships.
I am appalled and furious at the tactics and hysterics that the pro-#8 groups have used. Sadly, they only let me vote once.
Sarah:
I cannot imagine what you are going through, and it is the most heart-breaking thing, to me. I firmly believe that--for the Christian right--God doesn't care WHO you love but THAT you love. How can recognizing commitment somehow lessen heterosexual marriage. And my God, but all the divorces we straight people have f*cked up? That raises marriage up?
E
You know what I think about it. I'm behind you all the way.
My support is with you and your wife. I agree with Stephen--the time has come, and hopefully people will do the right thing.
Sarah, I support you with all of my being. My best friend was married, (actually, now they're divorced, but no matter), and it would have meant so much to her if it could have been legally legitimized. I even think it would have meant something positive in terms of the relationship, itself.
I hate what is happening in our country regarding gay marriage. I don't even really understand why it's an issue. I agree with Stephen, in that Obama and Biden copped out in order to pander to the center. How wimpy!
Good luck with proposition 8. I'll be rooting for you!
Great post. I don't know what the overall sentiment out there is, but I've got some family in SoCal and they think Prop 8 has no chance whatsoever of passing. I hope they're right.
I might be an optimist, but I agree with Stephen:
your issue is an idea whose time has come. In fact it's overdue. Like abolition and suffrage, gay rights will find root in American law and you and your wife will go down as pioneers.
I think we'll look back on this and see it for the bigotry it really is, and I'm hopeful that it will be in our lifetime.
I don't know if you read post secret, but one today was of someone who secretly opened all the outgoing ballots and tossed the ones that voted yes on #8... illegal as hell, but I'm really not complaining.
You guys are great friends, both the ones physically here and the ones in the blogosphere.
I hope the measure doesn't pass and I hope the post secret thing doesn't come back to haunt us on this one.
Thank you for this. We were married in SF on August 9th, and though that doesn't give us anything here in Delaware other than the ability to change our names without going through a court proceeding, it will still devastate me if Prop 8 passes.
You know I'm totally against prop 8 and have posted a couple of times about it, put up signs in my yard, and now encouraged my wife to indoctrinate my children (I was at work).
Anyway, while I generally agree with all that's been posted, there's this: I believe Obama and Biden adopted their anti-gay-marriage stance merely to pander to the center. On one hand it's an act of cowardice, on the other hand it's a ticket to the White House.
I disagree. I don't know what Obama's real position is, but after seeing Biden in the VP debate and hearing his words, I think he has developed a very logical, coherent position on not just gay marriage but marriage in general. It goes something like this: Marriage is a social institution, typically imbued with cultural, religious, or other significance. Government, however, really should not be in the business of trafficking religious, cultural, and social significance except as it relates to public health or safety. Thus, government should recognize the contract of partnership between two adults that marriage currently offers, but it can be called something other than marriage. And this would be for all people, not just homosexual people.
Marriage could certainly continue to exist, as a separate institution that carries no legal ramifications. Not unlike other Christian sacraments such as baptism, communion, and confirmation.
If there's one thing that this entire Prop 8 cycle has confirmed for me, it's that I have absolutely no use for Religion with a capital R. The more I see it in action, the more I abhor it.
I hope you're right, Pete. I have no problem leaving 'marriage' to the churches and having the state grant everyone the right to get hitched under a different name. There was a great op-ed not that long ago that said the state should issue civil unions for all and the churches can marry people.
...the state should issue civil unions for all and the churches can marry people.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What are you talking about? That's way too reasonable. It makes too much sense.
It is about granting the same rights and responsibilities to all. It is about recognizing the lifelong attachment of couples. It is about automatically granting legal and medical protections to those partners.
I couldn't agree more, Sarah. And I fervently hope all is well by this time tomorrow. This whole issue is so damn stupid - and I want to just scream on your behalf.
What a terrific post Sarah. You and your wife have my full, whole-hearted and loving support. I only wish I could add my voice to the actual vote.
Sarah, is it true what I read a few hours ago? It passed?
I can't believe it. I'm appalled.
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